While I was in the kitchen tonight putting the dishes away and loading the dishwasher back up, I had the TV on in the background, and a commercial came on for some pregnancy test that advertised that the user would be able to tell that they were pregnant 5 days sooner.
Why?! What's the point to such a thing?
Well, let's look at this. Most women have an internal clock that tells them that it's time to have a baby, and they of course fulfill this need through a guy. How? Well, sex of course, unless you're skilled with a turkey baster and are wanting to remove the male as much as possible.
The guy of course is ecstatic, being able to be used for his sperm and getting the gratification of sex. The guys needs are met. At the same time, the woman is getting her desire to be touched, held, loved, caressed, and possibly impregnated taken care of. Of course, it invariably happens one day that the necessary down under goodies take care of the nasty bits and a egg and sperm do a hoe down to make the man and woman one.
And since the woman is impregnated, the woman's need for sex is gone, having her womb full of a slowly growing and mutating being that will one day come forth from her life hole. And with that said, as she is now with child, her need for sex with a male is stifled, and the well is dry so to speak for the man.
Of course, the woman is going to want all that same affection that she was receiving before when she was fulfilling the male's sexual needs. And the male? In all honesty and with an overused and usually contextually incorrect cliche, we can easily say that "the well is dry". There is no more for him. He must now throw on his mangina for the next 9 to 10 months and be mister supportive, giver of ice cream and pickles, while the emotional and mentally unbalanced woman blames him for getting her pregnant. She will be loved and caressed, pampered, and have no desire for coitus since she's always feeling awful, and besides, she has all of this hell to blame on a man.
With all of the above taken into account, some idiot decides to take a pregnancy test and make it even more accurate, being able to detect a hormone in female urine before the woman even "knows" that she is pregnant. Why? Why 5 days sooner? Does this person really hate men all that much?
"Well screw this! I'm so sick of having all this unnecessary sex! I'm going to tweak that pregnancy test so that I can avoid 5 days of sex! Besides, he's not all that good at it anyway!"
I guess she really does hate men that much. After all, let's be honest on this topic - There's not a whole lot of women out there that have a higher sex drive, or even an equal sex drive than the average guy. Sure, some women out there do exist that are like this, but most of them are lesbians anyway, so they're not counting in our current numbers. The women that do have sex frequently either like dislike listening to their partners whine, or they are weak willed and weak minded. After all, what reason is there for the average women to have sex? Taking the example above with the gentleman not being able to be a pleasurable match on the mattress for his mate, he's discarded as not being good at it. Here's a thought, and it might be a strange one. Maybe it's the fact that I can sympathize with this gent, or maybe it's because I talk to a lot of people, but if someone isn't good at something they should keep doing it and improving? You know, the old "practice makes perfect" line?
Maybe, just maybe our wedding tackle wielding character above might be better at sex if given the chance.
Just maybe.
However, we're not dealing with the topic of satisfaction here. We're dealing with someone who must have been so utterly dissatisfied that they wanted to get the repeated act of coitus over with and not have to have sex those extra 5 days. After all, why should she?
I'm old fashioned in a lot of ways. Always have been, probably always will be. But if two people love each other and want to have a child they should be able to do it on their own, and find out the old fashioned way that they are carrying a baby inside the woman's womb. They don't need to be interfered with by someone who hasn't met them, and that someone's product appealing to the woman's need to know the moment that she's pregnant so she can start glowing.
After all, that's pretty much all pregnant women do right? Glow? Well, I mean aside from the bitching about men, being pregnant, throwing up, and eating everything in sight, right?
Here's the thing. Most women are too easily swayed by the media, what they see on TV, and what they listen to on the radio. They believe that a man will come into their life, charm them, wine and dine them, romantically make love to them, stay awake until the woman falls asleep while slowly cuddling and caressing her body, and have long romantic conversations during all waking hours. The truth? You women never let us. You're too busy believing all of the above and watching movies like The Wedding Planner or The Holiday to let it happen. You're too busy giving your emotions over to some musical ensemble on the radio that is singing some romantic song, or falling in love with the most attractive singer in said group to care. If you ever focused on having emotional contact with a real human being that is in the same room as you, lives with you, work with you, dates you, marries you - whatever it might be - you might have a hope of making this all happen. But it's not a one way street like society makes it look like.
You see, we're living in an era of not equality, but uniquality. What I mean by that is that only women are equal with other women. Since men dominated the scene for so long and the sexual revolution led to the women, men have be suppressed and treated as sex symbols that are not good for sex - but for every emotional need that women have. After all, since the media says it's true, it must be true. It's like Orwell wrote in Animal Farm - "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal that other animals". And that's the truth of it. Since men were the top's for such a long time there's a backlash that's been driven slowly for the last 40 to 50 years that men are stupid, sex symbols, and are emotionally equal to that of a woman and that we're here to serve all of the women's emotional needs.
I disagree. You want equality? Come and get it, I have no problem with that. I prefer it in fact. After all, when everything needs to be moved, you can gain some strength and move the load. There's blood and guts and someone needs to spray the mess off the road so traffic can resume? Come on in and grab the hose. Try not getting emotionally involved though, and just tuck that middle finger from that dead motorcyclist behind your ear.
Equality is great, and I agree with it. But look around you - how many commercials are on TV are showing men as equals? How many commercials, movies, and sitcoms show men to be intelligent and equal to women? Barely any, and that's because of this uniquality movement that is happening. All men in commercials are shown to be bumbling fools that screw up, and woman comes along to save the day since the man is unable to solve the problem with his penis, and is only able to think using that one head.
The truth, the absolute true truth is that us men are intelligent. We're logical, emotional, and sexual beings. Sure, we do have the sex drive of a mouse, but that's the way we're made. Just like you're an emotionally unstable and illogical being for 7/28 days, and expect us to pander to all of your needs instantly.
Here's a deal. Let's be truely equal. I don't think there's a single male out there that would mind at all being emotional, loving, kind, considerate, and intellectual with his mate in exchange for being sexed up at a reasonable rate. But it needs to be a fair exchange. And once a couple matures enough for them to want to procreate, by all means it should be an equal effort.
But for the love of God and all that is holy, do not, and I repeat DO NOT try to screw a guy out of those 5 days of sex just to find out that you're pregnant. That is not a fair exchange. That's like us knowing the cyclical information of your period, and disappearing the last 5 days before you get it.
After all, you're a strong confident woman and you need someone to emotionally, physically, intellectually, and sexually abuse for the 1/4 of your life that you're fertile plus the time that you're preggers.
Rantfully Yours...
Matt
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